Susie Bright usually lives up to her name. She is one of [...]]]> Well, this will probably get this site blocked in high schools, result in unwanted traffic from google searchers and provide a significant test of the WordPress 2.0 comment spam trapping… But this is just too good, funny and darn it important to pass up:

Susie Bright usually lives up to her name. She is one of the outstanding advocates of real sexual education. Here, she is on the invaluable Huffington Post reacting to a reactionary piece of writing by Daphne Merkin, (whom Ms. Bright dubs “The Lady Who Talks Dirty But Hates Sex”) in The New York Times Magazine, titled Our Vaginas Ourselves.

The Blog | Susie Bright: Daphne Merkin Needs To Get Spanked Again | The Huffington Post

I was alone in the 1970s with a copy of Our Bodies Ourselves, when I first took a look at my vulva. No obligations, just a sincere curiousity. I was fascinated that the mirror could teach me so much. It never occurred to me to hate what I saw — quite the opposite. I didn’t meet a “women’s collective” with whom I could share these kind of observations for several years, but when I did, I was thrilled with their confidence and generosity. It was one of the best things that ever happend to me as a young woman.

The reason wealthy women are signing up for a vaginal cut-fest, to outfit themselves for trophy-mounting, is because of feminism’s faint heartbeat, not its triumph. The kind of thinking that spurs “hymen reattachment” is the ideology where a woman is valued for her virginity, and her property value. It’s high-priced genital mutilation, fashioned for the 90210 Snob Set. Daphne’s closer to them than she thinks.

[She then turns the platform over to a real guru, Betty Dodson:]

Today, modern sexually sophisticated women are outsourcing their orgasms using their fingers or vibrators for direct clitoral stimulation alone and during partnersex. Come on, all you V-girls! You’ll love it once you discover that exciting bundle of eight-thousand nerve endings in your clitoris. It’s just above the vaginal opening where your first boyfriend spent all his time poking his finger inside thinking he was on target. Meanwhile you were wondering if this was “sex,” feigning pleasure in case it was.

This alliterative affliction is named after the wizarding school in J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series, and is suffered by children embarking on marathon reading sessions of the 870-page “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.” Reports of Hogwarts headaches circulated wildly on the Internet, and no doubt prompted some parents, already worried [...]]]> Heavy Reading

This alliterative affliction is named after the wizarding school in J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series, and is suffered by children embarking on marathon reading sessions of the 870-page “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.” Reports of Hogwarts headaches circulated wildly on the Internet, and no doubt prompted some parents, already worried about children lugging around 30-pound backpacks, to consider limiting their reading material.

I was expecting this…

S P A M H a i k u s …………………………

1. Blue can of steel What promise do you hold? Salt flesh so ripe in clear jell

2. Can of metal, slick Soft center, so cool, moistening I yearn for your salt

3. Twist, pull the sharp lid Jerks and cuts me deeply but Spam, aah, my poultice

4. Silent, [...]]]> Found on the internet, apparently escaped into folk process…

S P A M H a i k u s
…………………………

1.
Blue can of steel
What promise do you hold?
Salt flesh so ripe in clear jell

2.
Can of metal, slick
Soft center, so cool, moistening
I yearn for your salt

3.
Twist, pull the sharp lid
Jerks and cuts me deeply but
Spam, aah, my poultice

4.
Silent, former pig
One communal awareness
Myriad pink bricks

5.
Clad in metal, proud
No mere salt-curing for you
You are not bacon

6.
And who dares mock Spam?
You? you? you are not worthy
Of one rich pink fleck

7.
Like some spongy rock
A granite, my piece of Spam
In sunlight on my plate

8.
Little slab of meat
In a wash of clear jelly
Now I heat the pan

9.
Oh tin of pink meat
I ponder what you may be:
Snout or ear or feet?

10.
In the cool morning
I fry up a slab of Spam
A dog barks next door

11.
Pink tender morsel
Glistening with salty gel
What the hell is it?

12.
Ears, snouts and innards
A homogenous mass
Pass another slice

13.
Old man seeks doctor
“I eat Spam daily”, he says.
Angioplasty

14.
Highly unnatural
The tortured shape of this “food”
A small pink coffin

15.
Pink beefy temptress
I can no longer remain
Vegetarian